Diet Coke and Middle Earth
by halfelvenmedea
Summary: Avenley and Amber are two regular teenage girls living normal lives, however, one night everything changes when the Fellowship shows up in Amber's living room.
1. Of Robbers and DietCoke

* * *

Disclaimer: We own nothing...kind of...we own ourselves we think...of course there is the slight chance that we don't even own our own names. Basically if you can't find it in The Lord of the Rings, we will happily claim it.

Larien-Can we just hurry up and start the story?

Ellinde-You know we had to include the disclaimer. we don't own Tolkien's work.

Larien-Who says?

Ellinde-The patent lawyer. That's who

* * *

Amber was cleaning her room when her best friend Avenley came over. Both of them were only children, (no brothers and sisters) so they had the house to themselves.

"Hey Avenley!" said Amber happily "Are you ready for cake and diet coke and movies and stuff?"

"Yeah! But do me a small favor...stop me at eight diet cokes please?

"Why eight may I ask?"

"Do you not remember that lovely little incident on the Fourth-of-July and nine diet-cokes?" replied Avenley

"How could I forget that? The memory of it still haunts me...actually it's rather hilarious looking back on it." Said Amber

* * *

Flashback...and sad but true story

Avenley and a good friend of ours drank at least nine to ten diet-cokes on the Fourth-of-July. They became increasingly hyper and to the point where you would have thought that they were drunk. Amber became equally as hyper off of absolutely nothing. Then the adults started the fireworks show and we decided that we should watch the fireworks upside down. Amber (being the obsessed freak that she is) casually commented on how the fireworks looked like Gandalf's and Avenley wholeheartedly agreed. Then we all started screaming like idiots because the fireworks looked like they were falling on us...so we moved closer. Then the fireworks actually started to fall on us so we ran away faster than Sir Robin.

End of Flashback

* * *

"Please don't bring up the subject." Said Avenley pleadingly.

"It is sooooo funny though!" Amber replied laughing hysterically. Avenley hit Amber on the arm and gave her and incredibly evil glare. "Oh...I mean it's totally not funny. Right." Amber tried to keep a straight face but couldn't, and began chuckling under her breath.

"Oh shut-up." Mumbled Avenley flatly as she gave Amber another death glare.

"Okay. Okay...man that was rich. I'm hungry, lets go on inside. And while we're at it I am gonna' put in The Lord of the Rings.

"Which one?"

"The first one of course! Go the extended edition!"

Amber and Avenley went inside and got some of the cold-pizza out of the fridge. While Avenley was heating up the pizza, Amber was setting up her DVD player. Avenley grabbed two of the diet-cokes out of the refrigerator and plopped herself down on the couch.

"I love this movie." Ave said nonchalantly

"Yah..." replied Amber as Galadriel began her long drone about the rings of power. "But all were deceived, for another ring was made." Amber said instinctively. At the same time as Galadriel.

"Must you do that?" asked Avenley slightly annoyed.

"Hmmm? Oh. Yes." Replied Amber

The movie went on and Avenley and Amber were sitting spellbound as usual. Amber would occasionally quote a line and then go back to watching the movie. Finally the movie reached the part with the Council of Elrond. As soon as Elrond intoned "You shall be the Fellowship of the Ring" there was a horrid creaking noise and the TV. went out.

"What the crap?" asked Ave

"I have no idea. This is an old TV...kinda sucks though." Said Amber "It was about time to change out the disks anyway. I suppose that that is a good stopping place. I'll have my dad look at it when he gets home in two days."

"So what do you want to do now?" asked Avenley

"Why don't we go on back to my room? It's getting late anyway."

So at this time Avenley and Amber went back to Amber's room to talk and be complete idiots together. This went on for several hours until there was a huge crash to be heard in the living room.

"Oh god! What was that?" asked Avenley a bit too loudly

"Shhhhhhh! I thought I heard a man talking..." replied Amber "Do you suppose that it could be robbers?"

"What else could it be?" Avenley said royally freaked out. "Okay we just need to calm down. Thank goodness we know karate..."

"All the same...I think I'll carry my lamp with me." Amber said picking up her eight foot brass lamp.

"Right..."said Avenley giving Amber a pathetic look. "Are we going to him?"

"Yeah...we need to be quiet and sneak up on him. That way we'll have the element of surprise on our side."

"Are you sure that it's a guy?" asked Avenley

"You have got to be kidding. Did you not hear the deep voice? If that's not a guy then that's a REALLY ugly girl." Said Amber exasperatedly.

"I was being sarcastic."

"I know."

Ave and Amber tiptoed into the living room side by side with Amber clutching her very tall lamp. As they moved into the living room the man from before's voice became more audible.

"I am not sure how this could have happened..." said the man now mumbling

Suddenly a man appears in front of Avenley and Amber. Amber completely freaked out and hit the man hard over the head with her lamp, and the man collapsed onto the floor. Avenley freaked out to because the first thing that came to her mind was the nightmare man from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Amber stood there in a state of shock; after all she did just knock some guy unconscious.

"What in Eru's name? Oh heavens children. Edain children."

"What? I am not a child? I'm fourt-...Fifteen!" whispered Avenley furiously

"Pip! Shut up!" whispered Amber

"I am not Pippin. I'm not short anymore!"

"Well your mouth is big like Pippin's. Shut up! I just knocked a guy unconscious for you!"

"But! But!"

"Not another word!" Seethed Amber

"You didn't even give me a chance!"

"What did I just say? There are still people here and with your display we'll be lucky if they haven't heard us or you more specifically." Retorted Amber. Avenley gave Amber an evil glare a buttoned her lip."

"What are we to do about this?" said the man

"Wait a minute...I know that voice. Gandalf?" Said Amber speaking up.

Avenley began to snicker uncontrollably.

"What?"

"You know how no one ever says Gandalf as a fact? They're all like 'Gandalf?'

It's always a question. You sounded just like Frodo and everyone else who says his name like that."

For the first time of the night Amber gave Avenley and evil glare. If looks were knives Avenley would be very dead. Amber looked and Avenley and got a fiery look in her eye.

"GANDALF!"

* * *

Ellinde-So what do you think?  
Larien-You totally need to review this...or else.

Ellinde-You can't do that.

Larien-Do what?

Ellinde-Threaten the reader like that. It isn't right.

Larien-But they should still review.

Ellinde-Oh yes most certainly.


	2. Pher nole! Of course we speak Sindarin

**Disclaimer**: Blah...Blah...Blah...We own nothing blah...blah...

**Ellinde**: Larien! How many times must I tell you that you cannot be rude to the readers!

**Larien:** harrumph.

**Ellinde: **Don't mind her. She's being a great pain. I want to take this time to tell all of you reviewers how much we love you! May your beards grow longer...unless you're not a dwarf...or a guy...never mind. I never said anything. Are you having hearing problems or something?

**Larien**is laughing hysterically

**Ellinde: **Right...so...we love all of you reviewers! We love you people who read the story too. You have a place in our hearts...but the reviewers have a bigger place...ummmmm...this isn't going like I planned it to.

**Larien: **We'll try to keep this as not Mary-Sue-ish as possible. We hate them. Of course we may occasionally break into song.

**Ellinde**: Yeah but nothing serious or depressing...fun stuff like "I wish I was a Penguin" and "the Cheeseburger song"

**Larien: **Can we start? I'm tired of talking to these people.

**Ellinde:** Larien! No! Not until you can learn to be polite.

**Larien: **Fine. Fine. I'll say it nicely. "I love all of you dearly! But I'm bloody tired of talking to you so I'm going to start this chapter before I kill Ellinde. KISSES!"

**Ellinde:**Sighs as she starts to type up the next chapter.

* * *

_Gandalf! (eeek! Did I just say Gandalf? I think I'll think it again!_ Thought Amber happily.

"Amber...am I going insane or something? Did I drink too many diet-cokes?...AND WHY IS THE FELLOWSHIP IN YOUR LIVING ROOM?" said Avenley obviously flabbergasted.

"I very well think that you might be. Yes too many diet-cokes and I have no idea why they are here!" retorted Amber

"Great the perfect time to get hyper is when the Fellowship is in your living room. Good job." Avenley said snidely

"Hey. They weren't here earlier. I didn't invite them." Replied Amber

"Fine. Be that way." Mumbled Avenley

"I heard that and yeah. I will be that way." Whispered Amber. Avenley faced her friend and gave her yet another evil glare. There was a loud "Harumphing" sound and Amber turned to face the visitors in her living room.

"Oh gosh...right Gandalf..."

"It is becoming increasingly clear to me that these two girls have to be some kinds of servants of Sauron. How else could we have gotten thrown into this strange world? How else would that girl have known your name? To top that off both of them are wearing pants! Men's clothing! Where is their decency? Only servants of the enemy would be garbed as so!" seethed a very irate Boromir.

"Boromir hold your tongue! You need not be so rash.. This is not the time for such speculations." Cut in Gandalf, as Amber began to count the members of the fellowship.

"Frodo, Pippin, Merry, Sam, Gimli, Legolas, Boromir, Gandalf, Ara-" Amber stopped in mid sentence. "Oh no. No!" cried Amber who started to sob.

"Oh! Amber you didn't!" whispered Avenley

"I'm afraid I did."

"You knocked Aragorn out." Said Avenley shuddering

"I know!" cried Amber sobbing more. "I feel so awful! I didn't mean to!"

Avenley slowly began to laugh at Amber's almighty stupidity. "It isn't funny! I could have killed him! Oh CRAP! Is he even breathing?"

Avenley leaned down to check and see if Aragorn was still breathing.

"Yes. He's breathing, but he has a rather large knot on the back of his head. Good job." Avenley said sarcastically

This of course did no good for Amber who was still sobbing. Legolas feeling sorry for the girl went and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Nayes him. Adan nuvavan. (It's alright. He'll be fine.)" he said softly

"Annu ninnin iel (Don't pity her.)" retorted Avenley

"Pher nole naug him! Pher nole phem rauko! (half-witted dwarf child. Stupid little demon.)" Amber muttered sobering up.

Legolas looked strangely at Avenley and Amber.

"You speak Sindarin? I never would have thought..."

"Yep. We also speak Quenya...but it's not as flowy..." Avenley said interrupting Legolas "It took forever to learn too.

"Correction. I speak Quenya. Fluently. You know what ten words?" replied Amber swiftly

"For one thing..."said Avenley about to revert into elvish "I'm nai uphim!(I'm not that short) And Another! I'm undaith phim rauko!(I'm not a little demon!)I'm ped noret hi yen quetta!(And I know more than ten words!)" shouted Avenley

"Fine. You know twenty. Max. It's the truth and you know it Ave!" said Amber heatedly.

"Not true! I know thirty...max. Shut up."

Suddenly all fighting stopped as they heard a quiet moan from Aragorn who was apparently starting to wake.

"...Arwen..." muttered Aragorn. Amber and Avenley exchanged glances and then exclaimed at the same time.

"Ohhh! That's so sweet!" and then they broke into a fit of giggles

"I wish I was Arwen...kind of...sort of...not really. Having to give up the whole immortality thing would suck." Said Amber

"Nope. Sorry. No Arwen Here. Wrong person." Said Avenley laughing slightly.

Aragorn moaned again and then opened his eyes. "What have I woken up to? What was all the yelling about?"

Avenley stepped out in front of Amber.

"That was me and...her." she said pointing at Amber. "Me and her were yelling because she was insulting me."

"You started it." Amber sniffed

"Did I? Or did your idiocy drive me to royally diss you?"

"Infidel." Amber said haughtily

"Prat!" retorted Ave

"Dwarf!"

"I AM NOT!" Avenley cried

Aragorn again moaned something about his head as Gandalf helped him to his feet.

"About that..."started Amber turning to Aragorn. "I'm really, really sorry. We- I...thought that you were someone else. Can I get you anything for your head?"

Aragorn grinned slightly.

"No, that's quite alright. Believe me when I say that I have had worse. Though I am curious as to who you two are...and what was all the yelling about."

"I'm Amber, and this is my friend Avenley...um as to your second question-"

Avenley stepped out and was about to diss Amber again when, Legolas, sensing more shouting and annoying unneeded strife went and clamped a firm hand over Avenley's mouth.

_If he keeps his hand there I will lick it and if he still doesn't move his hand I do so swear I will bite it. Even if he is my favorite elf, I don't care this is freakin' annoying! _Thought Avenley.

Legolas leaned down and whispered in Avenley's ear. "I heard that you know."

_Oh crap! Elves can read minds! I'm still going to lick his hand in a minute._

"Do what you will, but I shan't move my hand until your friend is done talking." Legolas whispered again

_If I could just get my tongue out! ...Darn you Legolas! DARN YOU!... Wait... until she stops talking? That could take forever!_

"So be it."

_I cant breathe Legolas._

Legolas moved his hand down slightly. "Sorry. Better?"

_As good as it gets with a hand over my mouth. YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!_ Screamed Avenley inside of her head as she gave Legolas the most evil glare possible. _Darn you..._Avenley thought pitifully

* * *

Now many people have a reverence for the young Elven prince, and for all elves for that matter so Legolas was somewhat shocked to be spoken to or even thought of like that. Avenley had no such reverence for Legolas and frankly thought of him as the ideal older brother. Amber on the other hand gave Legolas the respect that he usually got...but it almost seemed that she thought herself his equal...and frankly it was very unsettling.

* * *

**Ellinde-**Okay so now you have to review.

**Larien-** Or be condemned as a prat.

**Ellinde-** You won't be a prat! I'll still love you!

**Larien-** You are such a sap!

**Ellinde­-** I know but that's why everyone loves me!


	3. The Value of a Chocolate Chip Cookie

**Disclaimer: **We own nothing even though we sorely wish that we did.

* * *

**Ellinde:** Hello all of you lovely readers!

**Larien: **What she said.

**Ellinde: **For all of you reviewers we want to give you a cookie! Since we cant actually give you a cookie we command you to reward yourselves by buying yourself a cookie.

Aren't we nice?  
**Larien:** Right. We would now wish to address an issue that has been occurring in several of your reviews. The comparison of this story to Welcome to Rivendell Mr. Anderson

**Ellinde:** You have every right to be suspicious but first lets clear somethings up. Even though this story is just now being "published" it was written in May of 2004 on a 13 hour bus ride to New York and then written more on the 13 hour bus ride back from New York. I ask you to take a look at the publication date of W.T.R.M.A. December 2004. My friend and I wrote this because we were bored and liked parody writings. I did not even know this website existed until February when my friend Lily told me. Imagine my shock when I found W.T.R.M.A. it was a whole lot like the story my friend and I were working on. I hesitated to publish this story because of its likeness to the story just mentioned. Please know that until we get to chapter eight all of this was written in May 2004 and we are just now typing it up, all of these ideas are mine and Larien's. So don't be surprised or suspicious when something happens to Avenley. Ummmmm...you didn't just read that about Avenley...

**Larien:** Good job Ellinde.

**Ellinde: **Okay well we still love all of you very, very much and ask you to continue to read our story...because I like giving away cookies.

**Larien: **Beware her cookies...

**Ellinde**: Oh shut up. HUGS AND KISSES!

* * *

"So ummm...how did you guys get into my living room?" said Amber warily

"We're not really sure. It is my firm belief that this is the work of Sauruman." Said Gandalf.

"I still believe that it's their doing. They seem to know enough about us..."

"Boromir do not jump to conclusions. I am quite sure that they had nothing to do with this." Said Gandalf not unkindly.

"Yeah! And if we did have something to do with this, do you really think that you were robbers and knocked Aragorn out? Honestly." Steamed Avenley

"Did you hear that? A mere girl speaking to me like this? My lady I'll have you know that I'm-"

"A captain of Gondor? Are we insulting you customs? What would the Lord Denethor say? His favorite son quarreling with...how did you put it? A mere girl? Maybe your brother should have come in your place at least he has manners." Said Amber tartly. It was a bit too obvious that she knew much about middle earth. Boromir had every right to be suspicious but she already didn't like him from the movie and the book. She didn't mind casting suspicions on herself if it allowed her to make the occasional stinging remark. And that last one she made...definitely hit home.

Boromir stood a bit awestricken. Had what just happened really happen? Did a girl just berate him like she was twice his age? How did she know he had a brother? How did she even know who he was? There were so many questions roiling around in his mind, he made the best of the situation by keeping absolutely quiet.

Gandalf cleared his throat. "We do need to figure out a way home. We cannot stay here, not with the urgency of this matter."

_Awww! I want Legolas to stay! _Thought Avenley. When Legolas gave her an odd look she hastily added _Uhhhh so I can get back at him. Yeah._ Legolas simply laughed _DARN YOU! STOP IT! YOU ARE DRIVING ME INSANE! I'M NOT EVEN SAFE INSIDE MY OWN MIND!_

"No you are most certainly not." Replied Legolas smiling

"I have no privacy! What is this world coming to?...Wait you're not from my world. Never Mind." Whispered Avenley furiously. Legolas started laughing softly, but then stopped. _I saw that!_ Thought Avenley. Legolas simply looked at her and shrugged.

Amber looked over at Avenley and Legolas who seemed to be having a staring match of sorts and shook her head sadly. Finally she figures out what is going on and simply shook her head again.

For the first time that night Frodo stood up to speak. "Pardon me...but none of this is really helping us get anywhere." Everyone turned to stare at Frodo. "Honestly for the last hour we've done nothing but yell, argue and accuse people of things." Avenley started whistling innocently and Amber casually looked around the room. Suddenly Frodo got a pained look on his face and sat back down quickly.

"Mr. Frodo...are you alright? Mr. Frodo?" asked Sam kindly. Frodo nodded grimly with somewhat of a forced smile.

"I'm fine Sam. You don't need to worry so much."

"You're sure you're alright?"

Frodo sat very still for a moment clutching his shoulder before he answered. "Yes Sam... I am perfectly...fine."

Merry sighed sadly. "I don't suppose anyone would have any pipeweed? Or perhaps a bit of ale?"

"No. No pipeweed. There shall be no smoking in my house...as to the Ale...um I have Ginger Ale...don't know if you'd want that though." Said Amber casually.

"Pipeweed? Where? I'm hungry! And my ankle hurts." Said Pippin whining.

"So you were the one who made the crashing noise." Avenley stated as if it were fact.

"Yes, my lady. I knocked over a table. Sorry." Said Pippin blushing

"Sounds like you." Muttered Avenley

"What?" said Pippin

"Oh...nothing."

"I say we leave this place! There is naught for us here. Not even a bit of pipeweed. What say you Gandalf?" said Gimli in a heavy Scottish accent. Gandalf simply shook his head and then excused himself from the room.

Amber who had left the room to get some cookies she had made a few days ago and some juice for the company walked swiftly back into her room."Okay well...who wants some juice and cookies." Everyone simply stared at Amber and those who might have wanted something were silenced by a look from Boromir. Pippin opened his mouth to say something but then changed his mind and settled into silence.

Of course Avenley and Legolas are at it yet again.

_She never asked me if I wanted some cookies. _Thought Avenley

"Does it really matter?" whispered Legolas.

_Yes it does, and if you weren't so high and mighty you could lower yourself to appreciate the value of a chocolate cookie. _Fumed Avenley

"I don't understand you." Legolas whispered shaking his head.

_Darn you! _Ave thought furiously as she gave Legolas an evil glare. Legolas chuckled...again.

Amber looked over at Legolas who was presently reading Avenley's mind, and from the look on Avenley's face she wasn't very happy about it. Suddenly Amber realizes that by some twist of fate she could read Legolas' mind like an open book.

_A bit rude don't you think Legolas? Thoughts are rather private you know. This has never happened before has it? Not from an Edain girl. From the look on your face apparently not. _Amber thought directing her everything at Legolas. Legolas broke contact with Avenley and gave Amber a hard stare. She of course stared right back at him smiling sweetly.

_It's rather uncomfortable isn't it. Do me a favor and stop incessantly pestering Avenley._

_How did you...?_

Amber smiled again _Catch you off guard?_

Legolas put up a barrier protecting his thoughts after he got over the original shock of it all. Amber walked over to him still smiling and whispered. "I'm not done yet you know." She said figuring out how to put up a mental barrier of her own. She walked over to Avenley leaving Legolas standing there.

"Neither am I."

* * *

**Larien**- The reason no one wanted your cookies is because they were burnt.

**Ellinde-** No they weren't they were good! You're just jealous!

**Larien-** I'm jealous of your burnt cookies. Sure you think that.

**Ellinde-** They were good! They were!

(As Larien started to yell at Ellinde, Boromir and Aragorn walked into the study and give them both an odd look)

**Larien-**Oh fine I'll stop. Geez. You can't have a good shouting match anymore. (Larien walks out of the study.)

(Ellinde smiles sweetly and walks out of the study as well.)

**Boromir-** I don't trust them.

**Aragorn- **You'll just have to learn to trust them Boromir. They are the writers.


	4. True Identities

**Disclaimer: **Yeah. We don't own anything except for ourselves. But that's okay.

* * *

**Ellinde:** Hello all!

**Larien: **HIYA!

**Ellinde: **Larien? Are you alright? You seem...different.

**Larien: **YEAH! (is clutching a diet-coke can)

**Ellinde: **Oh no. You gotta be kidding me. How many of those did you drink?

**Larien: **About ten. (starts jumping up and down)

**Ellinde: **OH NO! Uhhhh...I'm sorry all of you faithful readers and reviewers! I seem to have...a bit of a crisis on my hands so I'll have to talk to all of you uh...later!

* * *

Suddenly Gandalf walked into the room.

"Ahh Lady Amber, Lady Avenley, may I have a word with you?"

"Yeah sure." Said Amber and Avenley simultaneously as Gandalf led them back into Amber's bedroom.

"I have a lot of explaining to do and very little time. First and foremost I apologize for calling you Edain children."

"Wait..."said Avenley apprehensively "You mean to say we're not humans? SWEET!"

"Ah...no. NO you aren't human in the slightest actually Lady Avenley you happen to be Laiquendi, or a woodland elf as they are more commonly known...and you happen to be Prince Legolas's younger sister."

"WHAT! YAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!" Avenley shrieked at the top of her lungs, suddenly and idea hit her. "Does he know?"

"No."

"Can...I go...tell him?" said Avenley with a wicked smirk on her face.

"Yes, go on."

"WHOOOT!" said Ave running out of the door and into the living room leaving Amber completely alone with Gandalf.

"Soooo..." said Amber

"Yes you're elvish as well. Calaquendi actually."

"I'm an elve of light?" said Amber quite a bit more calm than Avenley.

"One of the last ones actually." Said Gandalf as Amber broke into a huge smile.

"That would explain it."

"Explain what?" asked Gandalf confused

"Well...I read Legolas's mind, and I think that I scared him...and I kind of scared myself."

"Did you now...that's rather interesting." Said Gandalf chuckling, "And rather amusing to be quite frank."

Amber smiled again and began to glow with white light. "Okay...that's freaky. And is going to take some serious getting used to." Amber smiled even more

Zxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxxzxzxzxzxz

Avenley walked into the living room with a huge smirk on her face. "Oh Legolas!" she said in a sing-songing voice

"Oh Eru! What now?" said Legolas as they walked into a hallway.

"Tehe! Guess what!"

"No."

"Fine then. Guess what? I am your um...younger sister!" said Avenley smiling as she got an evil look on her face. _That means I can tackle you! _Avenley ran at Legolas and attempted to tackle him, Legolas sighed as he flipped her over his shoulder. Avenley then went flying into the living room and into a chair. _Darn you! I will get you back! I will!_

Everyone began to stare at Avenley as Legolas walked into the living room.

Legolas simply stared at Avenley who was sprawled upside down in a chair and smiled. "Are you alright? You can't imagine how many people have tried that."

"Yes I'm fine...I'm just kinda...stuck." Avenley said flatly.

Legolas smiled as he pulled Ave out of the chair. "I knew there was something familiar about you. You realize of course that since you are my sister, that you are a princess?"

"Yep." Said Avenley happily

"Then you also know that your name isn't really Avenley."

Avenley looked a bit stunned and then smiled.

"Do you want to know your real name?"

"YES!" shrieked Avenley loudly.

"Larien Earane Greenleaf."

"EEEEEEEEEEEE! YAAAAAAAAYYYY!" shrieked Avenley even louder. At that moment Amber walked into the room with her hands over her ears.

"Honestly Larien you're loud enough to wake the entire neighborhood!" she said annoyed, Ave simply grinned.

"So what did Gandalf say to you?"

"That is my own information that I will not disclose to you until the time is right." Amber grinned and started to glow again.

"Uhhhh... you're glowing." Said Avenley looking completely lost.

"I know." Said Amber as she plopped down on the couch next to Aragorn. "Oh and Gandalf has an announcement."

Just then who should appear but Gandalf himself!

"Erm...yes. Thank you. Everyone, I have found a way home, and we can leave immediately."

* * *

**Ellinde-**I know this may seem a bit Mary-Sue-ish but really there is a good reason for all of this.

**Larien-** You people are lucky that no one is going to fall in love with Legolas.

**Ellinde- **So if you can find it in your hearts to excuse the Elvish thing we promise that all will be explained in good time...

**Larien- **Precisely.

**Ellinde- **Oh and while we're at it, my friend Sulwen and I are writing a new story called Thirteen Mighty Dwarves Two Elves and one Hobbit... it's a long title but that is okay! So all of you lovely readers need to go read it, and then you need to review it...and then you can have a cookie.

**Larien- **Okay, well I'm leaving now...

**Ellinde- **Wait! But you're the one with the laptop!

**Larien- **Too bad.

**Ellinde-** Ahhh! Don't turn off the-


	5. Entering an Accident

**Disclaimer: **We own nothing. There we said it. Happy now?

* * *

**Ellinde:** We dearly apologize for the Mary-Sueness. I know all of you are in shock at the moment and we really are sorry.

**Larien: **But there's nothing we can do so deal with it.

**Ellinde: **Yes...right so we really are sorry and we beg your pardon...because this is the absolute last time you will see this Mary Sue-ness...if you even want to call it that...This chapter really isn't Mary-sue ish...it's more archetypal.

**Larien: **It's no worse than some of the other things that have happened in other stories (cough)W.T.R.M.A.(cough) Oh and don't compare it.

**Ellinde: **Right so we're going to start this chapter. KISSES AND HUGS!

* * *

"Alright everyone stay absolutely still. In fact I advise all of you not to move at all." Said Gandalf raising his all awesome wizard-ey staff.

* * *

Suddenly the room started spinning faster and faster. Amber grabbed on to two hobbits who didn't look like they were doing so well with the whole spinney thing. She thought they were Pippin and Frodo judging by the curly blond and black hair. _How weird my two favorite hobbits. _Thought Amber daring to think. Avenley quickly sat down, closed her eyes and leaned up against Legolas who, aside from Gandalf, was the only one standing. Even Aragorn was sitting/squatting in that incredibly uncomfortable position that is sooo unnerving to watch. Suddenly everyone began to fall/drop and Amber began to completely freak out. Avenley still had her eyes closed and Legolas was falling quickly. Of course, it became completely obvious that he was going to land on his feet. Boromir was clutching tightly to the other two hobbits, Aragorn knew how to land properly, but it was going to be a hard fall, even for him. Gimli had a pretty good chance of landing on his axe (much to Legolas's pleasure) and Gandalf was literally "floating". _Confounded Wizard. _Thought Amber. They began to get nearer to the ground, Avenley still had her eyes closed, and Amber was clinging to her two hobbits. Without any real warning they all landed hard, most on rocks except, of course, for the floating wizard and the freakishly talented elf. Gimli did not impale himself on his axe (much to Legolas's surprise) and none of the Hobbits were hurt, just dizzy. Aragorn had successfully added another knot to his head. Boromir landed hard on his back and Gimli landed hard on his uhhh...behind? Amber too landed hard on her back and twisted her already weak ankle. Larien, who didn't realize that they were falling gracefully hit her head on a rock, but thought nothing of it. Legolas and Gandalf then went around and made sure everyone was alright, and had to help most of the company up.

* * *

"Are you alright?" said Legolas pulling Ave to her feet.

"Yeah. I'm fine. I just kinda...fell on a rock."

"Alright...you're sure?"

"Yes I'm sure. Now go...help somebody else." Avenley said flatly dusting off her dress.

Aragorn stood up rubbing the new knot on his head.

"You hit your head again?" asked Legolas

"Yes. I seem to have been having some issues with that lately."

"Arwen won't forgive me if you die you know. I will be forever in her debt, and that's not a place I especially want to be, if you know what I mean."

"I know." Said Aragorn smiling at the mention of Arwen "I suppose I'll go help you check on everyone."

"Everyone alright then? Good. Let us continue." Said Gandalf a bit too cheerily.

"Gandalf, please, not all of us had a landing as soft as yours. Many of us are too tired to go on. Just look at the hobbits, they are in no condition to go any further." Pleaded Boromir "Night will soon fall anyway. What is one less mile?"

"Hmmm..." murmured Gandalf "I suppose you may be right. This is as good of a place as any to made camp for the night."

At that everyone began to set up camp...except for Amber and her wonderful ankle, that in all truth felt like it was broken...of course it wasn't...it just seemed that way.

"I'm going to go...get some...firewood or...something...yeah." said Avenley feeling dazed.

Legolas made note that Ave seemed to be blinking quite a lot as one who is trying to stay awake.

"Splendid!" said Gandalf happily.

"Are you sure Larien? You don't look well." Said Legolas concerned.

"I'm fine." Avenley said flatly as she walked into a near by forest.

Meanwhile Amber was staring off into space. She was amazed at her first view of Middle-Earth. It looked just like she thought it would...towering mountains, bright green grass, and gorgeous skies. The stars were brighter here...Amber continued to sit there staring off into space...Then she noticed off into the east an unnatural darkness. It wasn't your everyday darkness. (This was "advanced darkness", as Spongebob so wonderfully stated.) Amber shivered, knowing that what she was looking at was the shadow of Mordor. She then realized she was acting like a Sue and went to help finish up with camp.

Twenty minutes later everyone was finally settled in and off in the distance they could see Avenley coming back with the firewood. Amber was the first to notice something was wrong.

"Ave! Do you want some help with that?" she called. Ave shook her head very slowly and then stumbled over something.

"You're sure about that?" Amber yelled, Avenley just nodded.

As Avenley got closer to the camp Legolas tried to read her thoughts. There was nothing. Avenley walked another foot or so and then dropped the wood she was carrying. Amber and Legolas jumped up at the same time everyone turned to look at Ave. She then swayed to one side and dropped.

"AVENLEY!" Amber yelled as she rushed over to her friend. She rolled Avenley over on her side and saw that Ave had at least a one inch gash on the back of her head. "What did you do?" she asked aloud. Quickly Legolas was at her side.

"This is serious." He said gravely "Ellessar! Could you help me?" he called over, and in a second Aragorn was also over there.

"There isn't much really to do for this..." Aragorn said pulling out a small sack of herbs. He chose some and made somewhat of a poultice. "This should help. All that can be done now is wait."

"This is my fault." Said Legolas "I wish I had checked to make sure she was fine...I should have known better."

"She should be fine, Legolas. All we can do now is wait and see."

* * *

**Alternate Ending: **Avenley falls over half dead and then we leave her there to rot. THE END.

* * *

**Larien: **Oh shut up Ellinde!

**Ellinde: **No! (tehe)

**Larien: **Fine then be that way (storms out of study angrily)

**Ellinde: **Remember to review! Melwen cir!


	6. Waiting and seeing & indignant sniffing

**Disclaimer: **Just the usual. We own nothing.

**Larien: **We were tempted to make Avenley wake up two seconds later and be perfectly fine, but that's not very much waiting and seeing now is it?

**Ellinde:** I still think that we should have left you there and let me write the story. I tell it better anyway.

**Larien: **(gives evil glare) you do not! You get all the facts wrong Ellinde!

**Ellinde: **I most certainly do not! I am saner than you could ever hope to be.

**Larien: (**While trying to bite the top off of Ellinde's pen) What?

**Ellinde: **You see? my point exactly.

**Larien: (**still attempting to bite Ellinde's pen with no luck) What point?

**Ellinde: **That little things amuse little minds. (rolls eyes and walks away shaking her head while wondering how she ever got out of Moria completely sane. She wasn't so sure about Larien.)

* * *

Three hours later Avenley began to wake. Legolas let out a long sigh and Amber who had been wringing her hands for the last hour and a half finally stopped. Ave opened her eyes and let out a long groan.

"Oh...my head! What did I do?"

"You idiot!" Amber said lovingly. "Why didn't you say something about your head? You know all head wounds are serious."

"It only seemed like a scratch. I didn't think I was bleeding that much. Sorry." Ave said sheepishly.

At that Ave was enveloped in a warm hug from our favorite elf.

"Thank Eru! I was so afraid...Don't you dare do that again! Somehow though...I doubt this will be that last we see of you and such problems."

Avenley blushed at this and looked rather guilty.

"I'm a bit too adventurous for my own good,"

"You're also a bit too stubborn." Amber mumbled under her breath.

"Oh...shut it." Avenley sniffed indignantly.

Avenley attempted to sit up but...

"Oh OW! My head! Errrr..."

"Just lie still. You'll be better for it." Said Legolas standing up.

Just then Aragorn and Gandalf walked over a bit too casually for Amber's taste.

"It is good to see you awake Larien. And may I say that you are truly Legolas's sister."

At that Legolas gave Aragorn a hard stare.

"When I first met Legolas I was only oh...say ten or so, but the one thing that I remember was that he was eternally stubborn and a bit too daring." Amber snickered and Legolas sniffed indignantly.

"I was quite a bit younger and hardly as stubborn and foolish as Ellessar would have you believe. I recall a certain incident involving a cheese pie not-" Legolas was cut off as Aragorn clapped a hand over Legolas's mouth.

"And they all lived happily ever after the end." Aragorn said quickly as he let Legolas go. Legolas was smiling wickedly. Gandalf then smiled one of those all-knowing smiles like you see him give Frodo and Bilbo in the first movie. (I have to tell you that Sir Ian does a perfect imitation of the real Gandalf. It's scary.)

"If you wouldn't mind, my dear, you have some very worried hobbits who want to see you." Gandalf said pleasantly.

"Why certainly my dear Gandalf! I just need some help sitting up." Said Avenley grinning as Amber helped her get to a sitting position. Pippin quietly snuck over and looked at Gandalf who casually nodded his head, then Pippin ran over to Avenley.

" 'Ello Pip! How art thou?" Avenley said cheerily. Amber started laughing at Ave's er um...wonderful attempt at a British accent.

"Quite good! It's good to see you looking better."

"By better you mean alive?" asked Ave

"Erm...yes...I think so." Pippin answered uncertainly. Just then Merry bounded over.

"Hi'lo! You gave us a right good scare there Lady Avenley! I daresay even Gandalf was a bit worried for a bit there...but you seem better now. Say...the way you tackled Legolas earlier...could you teach us hobbits 'ow to do that? Lady Amber said you were right good at that sort of thing."

"Lady...? Sure I could teach you...but I got flipped into a chair remember?"

Pippin grinned and Merry laughed.

"Yes but that is to be expected. You did go after Legolas. We just have a fun time wrestling each other." Said Pippin enthusiastically. Avenley broke into a huge smile.

"Well then I suppose I have no choice but to teach you then. Just...not immediately." Just then Sam walked over.

"Evening Lady Avenley!"

"Well hullo Sam! Where's Frodo?"

"'Es asleep. He wasn't feeling well. He just hasn't been the same since Weathertop...but enough of bad memories. How's your head?"

"It's not completely cracked." Said Avenley pleasantly

"Yet." Said Legolas

_Oh...shut up! _Thought Ave.

"What do you mean yet?" whispered Amber under her breath. "It was cracked long before this."

At that Legolas started laughing. He couldn't help it, he tried to hide it by pretending to cough. He wasn't sure that Larien had heard that comment. He hoped she hadn't. It would be the grounds for another shouting match. Ave turned around to look at Legolas.

"What is so funny?"

"Oh...nothing." replied Legolas innocently

"I'm going to find out what it was."

"Larien, you can barely sit. If you think you'll get an answer out of me by force, you are sorely mistaken."

Sam looked around slightly confused, he hadn't really heard what was said, so he contented himself with picking up where he left off.

"I think you scared Mr. Frodo. Think that Gandalf and Strider were a bit put off too." Sam said inclining his head. "Even if they're too stubborn to admit it." Gandalf and Aragorn both smiled. "But Lady Amber kept Pip, Merry, Frodo and me busy with tales from your land. Mostly about fireworks and something called Diet-Coke."

"Oh she did? Did she?" said Avenley giving Amber a murderous glare

"Yes quite. But most of the time she was fussing over you. Gandalf actually had to force her to sit down and rest for a bit. It's nice when you have a friend who care so much. I think she was the most afraid of everyone."

Amber blushed and went about picking up the firewood Ave had dropped earlier. She liked Sam, he always told the truth, no matter how embarrassing or hard it was to hear.

"Well it's like I said It's good to see you awake." Ave smiled and Pip, Merry, and Sam went back to where that had been sitting before.

Amber finished picking up the firewood and went to sit over by Legolas and Ave

"Well if it isn't Lady Amber herself." Said Ave

Amber sat stonily looking up at Caradhras. Legolas sensed some kind of debate was about to ensue so he hastily excused himself.

"What's wrong LADY Amber?"

"Stop. Now." Said Amber coldly

"Okay...but really. What's wrong?"

"Tomorrow we'll be leaving to go towards Moria...You know what happens there." Ave just looked at her feet and back at Amber.

"Should we say something?"

"NO! We can't say anything! It might alter the story drastically! It just wouldn't be right. You have to remember after this fall Gandalf becomes Gandalf the white...so it's fine in the long run. That's not what I'm worried about though. Tolkien only calls for a fellowship of nine. Not nine and two insane girls who happened to get sucked into this. They'll have your back because you are Legolas's sister...I'm not so sure about myself. I'm not anyone important. To at least two people here I'm just another girl who always gets in the way and is the harbinger of bad luck." Said Amber dejectedly

"Amber...there is no way. They respect you, and apparently the hobbits love you. I'm the one they all think will bring bad luck. I know I am, after my lovely little incident today. No one gives me any respect like...at all." Said Ave.

"Yes but that's because I haven't done anything stupid like you."

"Hey! No fair!" Avenley sniffed indignantly "Name one stupid thing I've done since I've gotten here...wait...don't answer that."

"My point exactly." Said Amber tartly

"Fine. I see your point, you've retained your grace and blah blah blah. I get it."

"I guess I'm just afraid that when we go into Moria, no one is going to have my back." Said Amber sadly.

"I will." Answered Avenley. "I always will."

"And I'll always have yours." Said Amber

After that they both sat perfectly still looking up at the stars, knowing these next days would be some kind of a test.

* * *

**Ellinde: **That was sooo beautiful!

**Larien: **Oh I know!

**Ellinde & Larien: **WAAAAAHHHHH!


	7. The Titleless Chapter

**Disclaimer: **Own nothing we do! The disclaimer you do see! Talking like Yoda am I! Own him we do not.

**Ellinde: **We couldn't think of a title for this chapter

**Larien: **So it gets to be known as the title-less chapter chapter.

**Ellinde: **Okay...so I'm actually going to start typing now.

* * *

Dawn broke and Amber was the first awake...actually she never really went to sleep, and apparently neither did Legolas. Amber went about picking up camp and waking people up. Much to her surprise, Gandalf sleeps with his eyes open, so when she went to wake him it scared her.

"AHH! HOLY CRAP!" yelped Amber biting her lip "Ow..."

"Good morning dear. My lady, your lip appears to be bleeding." Said Gandalf pleasantly

"Yeah...I know." Said Amber trying to get her lip to stop bleeding.

Legolas went around and woke everyone else up. Every one that is, except for Ave.

"Larien...Larien! LARIEN! Wake up!" He ended up shouting. Avenley lovingly kicked him really hard from under her blankets.

"Don't even bother Legolas. It's too early. Ave never wakes up until at least eleven." Said Amber matter-of-factly.

"Eleven?" said Legolas incredulously

"Yes. That or she's awake and is just listening to our conversation. Avenley..." said Amber in a sing-songing voice "Noses! Diet-Coke and Noses!"

At this Avenley began cracking up insanely.

"Darn you Amber!"

* * *

Flashback and again...true story

You know of the potency of diet-coke...and now here comes another scary sad but true story. It was oh...say one in the morning and Amber and Ave were over at Avenley's house when they decided to go downstairs and watch Ave's big screen t.v. No seriously. This thing is honestly the size of a movie screen. So anyway we put in the Two Towers. Avenley had just finished drinking oh, six, seven, maybe eight diet-cokes to keep herself awake. Not good. So the part with Treebeard comes one and Ave says... "Hey! He's got a HUGE NOSE! It's the giant SHNOZZ!" This continued throughout the rest of the movie. Not even Christopher Lee was spared, he even got the extra "WOW! He has a weird nose AND bad teeth!" The saddest part about this whole thing, was that this occurred before the Fourth of July incident, and we never even realized it was the diet-coke.

* * *

"Dang it! I was perfectly fine until you said that." Said Avenley sitting up.

"How's your head?" asked Legolas.

"Tender. But I'll live." Replied Ave.

"Yeah. That's what you said when you hit your head." Retorted Amber

"Oh shut up."

"Is someone tired? Did someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed?" said Amber

"Is someone going to die if they don't stop talking?"

Amber grinned and went over to talk to the Hobbits.

"Larien, you really ought to be nicer to her." Said Legolas chidingly.

Ave just sniffed indignantly.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

**Larien: **Hold it! Hold everything!

**Ellinde: **What's wrong?

**Larien: **I can't sniff indignantly!

**Ellinde:** Why ever not?  
**Larien: **Because! That was the last chapter!

**Ellinde: **Oh...fine them. Ahem.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Ave does not sniff indignantly, but instead smiles happily and then falls over dead.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

**Larien: **Hey now!

**Ellinde: **(Cackles maniacally)

**Larien: **Give me the keyboard!

**Ellinde: **Hey! You were the one who wanted me to change it! It's an improvement in my opinion.

**Larien:** Give me the bloody keyboard! OR SO HELP ME!

**Ellinde: **Okay...okay.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Avenley does not sniff indignantly and does not fall over dead, but instead stares off into space.

"We don't really mean it."

"Still Larien. It isn't very polite."

"Fine..." sighed Avenley. Legolas stood up and went to go and talk to Aragorn.

Gandalf cleared his throat.

"It is now time to decide what path we take to get to Mordor. It might be faster to go through the Gap of Rohan..."

"And then to Gondor, of course?" said Boromir hopefully.

"No Boromir. We will not be going to Minas Tirith. The problem lies in going up the mountains..."

"Why don't we just go through the mountains Gandalf? My cousin Balin would show us a marvelous time!" said Gimli enthusiastically.

"No Gimli! No I would never do that. Not now and not ever. I have been through those mines only once, and I would not put this company through such an ordeal." Said Gandalf

Gimli hung his head sadly.

"Those mines are not what they used to be. You must understand Gimli." Said Gandalf not unkindly

"I-I understand Gandalf." Said Gimli

"I believe we ought to go through the Gap of Rohan, it should be the swiftest path and we will avoid having to go over the mountains." Said Gandalf.

"If we are to go that way, I suggest we leave now or we wont reach cover until night fall." Said Aragorn being the analytical person that he is.

"Quite right Aragorn, quite right."

At this everyone began to amorously pack up camp. Once that was done they all grabbed something to carry on their backs. They set out going at a rather quick pace. It was hard for Amber and Ave because they knew that this company would not be going through the Gap. They would end up going through Moria after all, and there, there Gandalf Greyhame would perish. It was a horrible thought, one that weighed on them for hours. BUT ON THE UPSIDE OF THINGS I JUST SAVED A LOT OF MONEY ON MY CAR INSURANCE BY SWITCHING TO GEICO! cough) right. So anyway, around one or two they stopped for lunch. After Lunch Gandalf allowed everyone a bit of time for themselves. During this time Avenley decided to keep her promise to the hobbits by teaching them to wrestle. Legolas disagreed strongly with this.

"I beg of thee Larien please don't! It isn't very lady like."

"Well I'm not a lady am I?"

"You are a princess and almost old enough to be a woman! Show some decency!"

"You didn't seem to mind before you knew I was your sister." Said Avenley

"You are so...so..." stuttered Legolas

"Amazing? Beautiful? I know." Said Avenley lightly

"Utterly annoying." Was Legolas's flat reply. "Please Larien! I don't want you getting hurt. Need I remind you that you are not completely well yet." Said Legolas exasperatedly.

"Well neither is Frodo and he's doing more than anyone." whispered Avenley. Legolas gave Ave a hard look, and stared at her for a few moments. He then threw his hands into the air and sighed heavily.

"Fine Larien. Fine. Do as you wish. Go knock your head off. See if I give you a second glance."

Avenley flashed a huge grin and then ran off to join Pip, Merry, Sam and Frodo. After a while Boromir took it to mind to teach the hobbits a bit of sword play. Aragorn later decided to join them. In the end both Aragorn and Boromir ended up on the ground, because of a very forceful tackle by the hobbits.

"AHH! Help! Enough! Please!" Laughed Aragorn heartily.

"Indeed! Lady Avenley has taught you well." Said Boromir who too, was laughing.

During all of this Amber and Legolas were talking about what and idiot Ave can be.

"She has no regard for herself or her well being." Said Legolas bitterly.

"Yes, she can be rather stubborn at times." Said Amber

"By Eru! One day she's just going to walk off the edge of a cliff." Said Legolas.

"No. She'll probably just fall and hit her head again." Said Amber a bit too pleasantly

"Oh please don't say that." Said Legolas putting his head in his hands

"Hey. I calls them as I sees them."

"You have the gift of foresight?" said Legolas in a worried tone

"No Legolas! Not that I know of at least."

"That's a relief." Sighed Legolas

At that moment Gimli walked over, and after exchanging some hateful glances with Legolas, went over to talk to Gandalf who was sitting close by.

"Gandalf...what is that strange black cloud that is moving so swiftly?" he asked

"What?" said Gandalf worried

"That's no ordinary cloud." Said Boromir

"Creabain from Dunland!" shouted Legolas

"Everyone get down!" added Aragorn

"Spies of Sauruman." Muttered Gandalf after they had all dropped low to the ground. Everyone stayed down barely daring to move for fear of being seen.

"I am sure that they have alerted Sauruman as to our position...I fear it will no longer be safe to go through the Gap. We will have to go up the mountains." Said Gandalf solemnly

"How is that any safer?" said Boromir despairingly

"At least we wouldn't have Uruks after us." Said Aragorn calmly

"Uruks? ...You mean Orcs." Asked Boromir

"No...never mind Boromir."

"I still think we should go through the mountain." Muttered Gimli

"I have to agree with Aragorn and Gandalf on this matter." Said Legolas

"Enough of this! We are going up the mountain and that's that...if of course, the Ring bearer is alright with such a decision." Said Gandalf exasperatingly

Frodo nodded his head

"Then up the mountain it is."

* * *

**Larien:** Ha! I knew it! I knew they'd go up the mountains. I must have the gift of foresight!"

**Ellinde:** Duh you knew it. You've read the books, seen the movies, and we are writing this.

**Larien: **Nuh uh! I do have the gift of foresight!

**Ellinde: **You know I'm right.

**Larien: **Nope nope.

**Ellinde: **Readers when you review please decide who is right. Me or Larien. Just remember, I give you cookies.

**Larien: **Yes but they taste crappy so you love me more

**Ellinde: **Do not!

**Larien: **Do so!

(computer crashes)

**Ellinde and Larien: **NOOOOOOOO!


End file.
